when i haven’t seen you in five days

resting my back against your chest when we’re lying in bed together as if we’re one body; the way you rub my neck & find all the knots in my shoulders as if you were rolling me like cookie dough; how you wrap your legs around me while you’re doing it as if i was a buoy as if running your fingers through my hair didn’t turn me into melted chocolate chips; how you’re both forceful & gentle at the same time as if you were a trained masseur, pressing your palms against my temples as if you could squish out all the pain inside me as if my head was a lemon as if the juice was worth the squeeze as if squeezing each other during one of our long hugs erased time as if we had nothing but time & each other to get us through all the bullshit that comes with living as if we could live forever & death wasn’t coming for us as if feeling the warmth of your breath, the sense of life & possibility could save me from my sadness.