Things to do with your tattooed ring finger now that you’re divorced
A.) Cut off your finger, wrap it tightly with gauze, tuck it into one of those light brown gummed, Kraft clasp, envelopes you find at Office Depot, write his name and address in the center, stick an American flag stamp in the right corner, and shove it in the mailbox, make sure it gets to him by 3:00 PM.
B.) Tattoo over the worn-out arrow, make it unrecognizable, ask your tattoo artist to paint a whole new image, create an entirely different meaning of what it means to love in a world where love isn’t going to save us.
C.) Laser it off at a tattoo removal shop you found on Groupon — 10 sessions for $1000; pay 20 times the amount you did when you had it permanently etched into your skin, back when you thought love and marriage were as permanent as the ink.
D.) Do nothing. Leave it as a reminder of choices you made and beliefs you had in a past life.
