Depression and trying to give into joy

I was looking for a new monthly quote to write on my highlighter-green RoseArt whiteboard I’ve had since 7th grade. The board can only hold about one line of inspiration. I started copying Vanessa after seeing her trendy Instagram posts with the blurred background, the oft-quoted Office lines, and modern-day board.

I looked at it as something like a theme or motto for the month until we moved into the next month. It was something to stare at as a reminder of a different way to look at things. Or not. Hell, it could just be a reminder of my reality. Or, what I interpret to be my reality.

I’m not one for inspirational quotes and have never felt comfortable with affirmations. They’ve always felt like a lie. This comes as no surprise, but I lean more toward the depressing yet very real Charles Bukowski. Yes, he was a chauvinist, a misogynist, and a sexist. “He treated objects like women, man.” Okay, different “-ski,” but he would not be a poet you’d expect me to love reading knowing me and knowing who he was.

Last month’s whiteboard quote was “Poetry is what happens when nothing else can.” And that’s why I love him. People write [poetry] to make sense of the world around them, to make sense of themselves and their feelings, and to express that in the written word so when someone else comes along, they can experience the writer’s…